Why "Hi" isn't enough
A one-word opener gives the other person nothing to reply to.
A message that shows you've actually read their profile stands out straight away, and it's much easier to answer.
Start with their profile
Pick one thing they've shared and ask about it with an open question.
- Instead of "You travel?", try "That beach in your photos looks amazing. Where was it?"
- Instead of "Nice photo", try "You look like you were having a great time there. What was the occasion?"
- Instead of "You like cooking?", try "What's your signature dish? I'm always looking for ideas."
Keep early messages light
You don't need to talk about your loss straight away.
Start with everyday things, such as hobbies, places you love or something from their profile. There's plenty of time for deeper conversations as you get to know each other. Read talking about your late partner.
Questions that work for almost anyone
- What's been the best part of your week so far?
- What's something you're looking forward to this year?
- What are you hoping to find on here? It's a great question for knowing where you stand early on.
Keep it going
- Share as well as ask. Answer your own question too.
- Reply when you can. Members who reliably reply earn the Anti-Ghosting badge. Read what the badges mean.
- Suggest meeting when it feels right. Read first dates after a long time.